All Alone
by Jiia-chan
Summary: When nobody cares about whether you're alive or dead, why would you bother to live? If nobody loves you, then you might as well die. Except, sometimes, people do care, and do love you. They just don't know how to say it. Kyo Yuki angstridden fluff.


We always hurt the ones we love. My version of the bajillions of angst fics like this out there. I don't own it. Wish I did. Wish Tohru died in a horrible gruesome way while Kyo and Yuki and maybe hopefully Haru do interesting things to each other in some random hotel room half the world away. With whipping cream. And possibly fudge. Mmmm…. Fudge…… I don't own Fruits Basket.

All Alone

Kyo sighed and got up from the table. The only one who noticed was that damn rat, and he only muttered something about 'That stupid cat is always so rude." And went back to his rice. Tohru probably didn't even see him. She was too busy chatting constantly with Momiji. The bunny and the cow had come over for dinner. At present, Hatsu and Shigure were sitting next to each other, presiding over the dinner in a frighteningly similar manner.

No one saw the tears on the edges of his eyes as he walked down the hall.

Kyo stared hard into the mirror, watching the way his eyes narrowed when he was trying to hold back his tears. Despite his best efforts, twin trails of tears slid down his cheeks.

Leaning heavily on the sink, he bowed his head and tried to stifle the choked sobs tearing themselves from his body. Finally, he just let himself fall heavily to his knees, knocking everything off the sink. He collapsed to the side and pressed his hot cheek against the cold tile of the floor. Finally, he let himself truly cry, his body shaking. For a long while, he lay there, all alone.

"Hey, where did Kyo go?" Tohru glanced about, concerned, having only just noticed the cat's absence.

"Off. You know how he is, Honda-kun." Yuki offered her one of his rare smiles. Tohru returned it, but still glanced worriedly towards the hall.

His tears had faded, leaving him wonderfully hollow inside. He was numb. It didn't hurt any more.

He stared blankly at the object in front of him for quite a while before realizing what it was. Shigure's razor had fallen to the floor, and the blade guard had come loose so the blade lay half out of the case. Slowly, Kyo reached out and picked it up, watching the reflections of the harsh fluorescent lights dance across its surface. He sat up, still entranced by the macabre beauty of the blade. Almost in slow motion, Kyo's eyes turned from the razor to his wrist, then to both as he softly pushed the sharp edge into his skin.

_Come on, do it,_ something in his mind urged.

_Just push a little harder, just draw it across your skin, and it can all be over. You can end this miserable existence. You can end the loneliness. You can end the pain._

_**But what about the others?**_

_What about them? They don't care what happens to you. You're just the stupid cat, remember? They'll probably celebrate. _

_**Tohru will be sad**. _

_Why? She's got Prince Charming. Why would she cry over you? Compared to him, you're dirt. You're lower than dirt. You're a CAT._

"You're right. No one needs me. No one knows I'm there." Kyo was aware that he was talking to himself, and that that was probably a very bad sign. Then again, what was a little insanity next to suicide?

Instead of turning away like he thought he would, he watched as the blade cleanly cut through the skin, easy as pie, leaving a dripping trail of crimson behind it as it worked its way down his arm. It didn't hurt. It didn't hurt at all.

Yuki groaned and pounded his fist against the door. Kyo had locked the door to the downstairs bathroom and wasn't opening it. Their guests had long gone home, and Yuki really wanted to have a bath before going to bed.

"What the hell is taking so long, stupid cat!" Yuki pounded some more and slammed his back against the door with a weary sigh. When Kyo didn't answer, Yuki frowned and pressed his ear against the door. He couldn't hear water running, or any sound at all, actually. It was disturbingly silent. After a few seconds, Yuki pulled back.

"Sorry, Shigure, but you're going to need to fix another door." With an easy kick to the lock, Yuki broke the door open. He suddenly felt as if he had been on the receiving end of a stomach-punch. He couldn't make his lungs work. His entire body was openly rebelling.

"Shi…. Shig….. SHIGURE!" When his voice came, it came as a scream. He was gasping for breath, and his heart thundered in his throat. Shigure wheeled around the corner, looking rather frazzled.

"What? What is it? Yu…..ki………..?" He caught sight of the crimson mess in the bathroom and came to a screeching halt.

"Call Hatori. And 911, call 911. Hurry. Now." Shigure grabbed hold of Yuki and pushed him in the direction of the phone, walking into the small room and kneeling at Kyo's side, instinctively avoiding stepping in the frightfully large pool of blood. A pale Yuki rushed past Tohru on his way to the phone.

"Yuki? Shigure? What's going on?" Tohru crept to the bathroom door, not wanting to see what she thought would be there.

"Tohru, stay by the stairs, all right, honey? Everything's going to be all right. You just stay away." Shigure struggled to keep his voice under control and angrily pushed away his tears. "Fuck! I don't have time for this right now. Damn you, Shigure! Keep it together, man." Shigure pushed his hand through his hair, reaching out to take Kyo's pulse.

Shigure was talking to himself. That was surely one of the signs of Armageddon. Tohru backed away, looking around in confusion. Yuki was talking rapidly, almost franticly on the phone. She could catch the gist of it, despite Yuki's apparent efforts to muffle his voice.

"Hatori... Yes, please, come quickly, Kyo…. No, he… he… No, he's…. He's just… bleeding… No… Yes, yes, I am… yes, please, hurry."  
Tohru put her hand over her mouth and tried not to cry. The others might think she was slow, but Tohru picked up on more than they realized. She couldn't believe it. Kyo couldn't have…. But why?

The world seemed strangely silent. Of course, it wasn't even close to silence, what with all the hustle and bustle of the busy hospital, but still… It was like all that noise bounced right off Yuki's ears. He couldn't hear Tohru crying, or Shigure trying desperately to comfort her while keeping control of himself. The whole world was just silence… silence and crimson blood filling his gaze.

Still, the sound of the doctor's patent leather shoes on the hard tile was frightfully loud. Somehow, Yuki instinctively knew that this was _the_ doctor. He was asking the question before Shigure even realized the man was there.

"Is Kyo going to be all right?"

Yes. The cat would physically be fine. It had been a close call, though. A few more moments and he wouldn't have made it. Yuki now stood alone in Kyo's disturbingly clean hospital room. The others had gone home a while ago. Somehow, they had understood what was going on in Yuki's head, when even he didn't.

Looking down at the strangely pale form of his… no. Kyo wasn't his anything. Was he?

Yuki felt so strange. His innards felt hollow. At the same time, he was full of a million thoughts and emotions at once. He felt… weak, useless, and he didn't like it at all. He never had.

And so, when he saw the first signs of life from Kyo's sleeping form, he fuelled his simmering anger, hoping it would burn away the confusion, at least for a little while.

"That was an incredibly stupid, selfish thing to do, Kyo." The cat cracked open once crimson eye. If he had caught Yuki's slip of the tongue, he gave no sign.

"What do you care, rat? I would have thought you'd have been happy if I died. No more stupid cat to bother you." The cat sounded sleepy, almost lazy. But that was to be expected. He had lost almost three litres of blood.

"Oh no, don't you make this MY problem. It's not MY fault you decided to throw away everything God has given you!" The rage bubbled up inside Yuki, venting through his eyes in almost tangible lines of heat scorching their way into Kyo's head.

"And what has he given me? A cursed body, a lifetime locked away?" The cat looked irritated, the familiar scowl coming on to his features. Yuki met his anger with more anger. He couldn't help it. The cat was infuriating him.

"How about a life? How about friends and family who care about you, people who love you? Don't those count for something?" Yuki was practically yelling. Kyo yelled back, startling tears edging into his eyes.

"That's the thing, ya damn rat! No one cares! No one loves me!" Ah. That's what the idiot thought. It certainly explained a lot.

"I do." _Fuck. FuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckFUCK._ Yuki hadn't meant to say it. It had just come out.

"What?" The look of surprise on Kyo's face was to be expected. Looking away, the blood rushing to his face, Yuki had no choice but to stammer out the truth.

"I… I love you, Kyo."

"Yuki…" He felt his heart sink into the pit of his stomach. No, sink wasn't the right word. More like plummet. Yea, plummet was a good word.

"No, stop… Fuck… I know what you're going to say. Just don't, ok? Just don't say it." _I don't think I could take it if he said it…_

"What did you think I was going to say?" Yuki turned back to the cat, surprising tears pricking at the edge of his eyes.

"Something along the lines of 'Get the hell away from me you fucking homo perv,'" There. He said it. He was just waiting to hear it. He tried to prepare himself for the pain, but…

"I wasn't going to say that." _Huh?_

"Oh. What where you going to say?" Yuki blinked, not quite sure what was going on.

"Well, I _was_ going to say 'I love you too, now get your girly self over here so I can kiss you, I can't move." _Oh. OH! Wow._

"Oh. Well, if that's it, then…" Yuki felt his heart hammering away in his chest, back where it was supposed to be, as he walked towards the grinning cat.

Ha ha ha... Whoot. Ph334. All that h4k3r jazz. There is more on the way. It was intended to be a one-shot, but my 'friends' (you know who you are) badgered me into writing another chapter. Seeya next time! Jii


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